These have been around for a while but I just thought I would post them for your amusement.

BEHOLD!

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From Yahoo! News:

By STEPHANIE REITZ, Associated Press Writer Stephanie Reitz, Associated Press Writer

LITCHFIELD, Conn. – Rip Torn was so intoxicated when he broke into a Connecticut bank carrying a loaded gun that he thought he was home, taking off his hat and boots and leaving them by the door, according to court records.

The 78-year-old actor was wearing the same battered boots Monday when he was arraigned on several charges after spending the weekend in a police holding cell near his hometown of Salisbury, in northwestern Connecticut.

Torn, who did not enter a plea, was released on $100,000 bond a few hours later and waded through a phalanx of media to a friend’s waiting vehicle. He smiled and wished onlookers a nice day but did not answer questions about the arrest.

He is expected to enter an alcohol rehabilitation center in New York as early as Tuesday, according to his attorney.

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Tonight is the President of the United State’s annual address to the United States Congress; The State of the Union. This should be an interesting one, to say the least. Over the first year of his Presidency, Barack Obama’s approval rating has dropped from 69% to 46%.

Tune in at 9pm on…well, pretty much any channel. If you’re interested, I’ll be live blogging everything I yell at my TV. Continue reading this post…

I have a feeling this is going to come back to haunt me but enjoy.

Is your relationship starting to feel more like a relationboat? Are you completely and utterly confused about your feelings for someone or even something? Then do I have good news for you! I am a self-proclaimed relationship expert and will be taking any and all questions about relationships, love, while giving specific, unbiased advice and opinions all completely open for the public and free of charge. I guarantee you will not be disappointed. Please post your comments and questions below and I will be more than happy to elaborate upon or answer them, respectively, to the best of my ability. Please note your questions and comments will be open to the public.

Here’s a riddle: What’s got curly hair, are abundant in numbers at midnight on Sunday in Brooklyn, NY and are scary?

If you guessed Velociraptors you’d be pretty darn close.

But the correct answer is: Hasidic Velociraptors.

Seen here in its natural habitat, Hasidic Velociraptors are best known for their ability to pounce on change and store it in an offshore savings account.

Ok I can’t go on with this because it’s just too offensive but I haven’t posted in a while and I just saw so many of these guys in New York not 2 hours ago I had to do something. Screw being politically correct, and just for the record, AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYIAIAIYAYIAIAAII is not an Arabic war cry, it’s a mating call. And yes I live in a cave and hate infidels.

From Wikipedia:

Thomas Alan “Tom” Waits (born December 7, 1949) is an American singer-songwriter, composer and actor. Waits has a distinctive voice, described by critic Daniel Durchholz as sounding “like it was soaked in a vat of bourbon, left hanging in the smokehouse for a few months, and then taken outside and run over with a car.”[1] With this trademark growl, his incorporation of pre-rock music styles such as blues, jazz, and vaudeville, and experimental tendencies verging on industrial music,[2] Waits has built up a distinctive musical persona. He has worked as a composer for movies and musical plays and as a supporting actor in films, including Down By Law and Bram Stoker’s Dracula. He was nominated for an Academy Award for his soundtrack work on One from the Heart.

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